Football for Thanksgiving

Fifteen years of Thanksgiving tradition is on hiatus this year. We’re going to have either a Thanksgiving holiday for the ages OR a complete disaster, and we’ll know by late Saturday afternoon.

We have our typical Massachusetts Thanksgiving operation down to a science. Dinner with our dear friends at their house. Food and other assignments split according to skills, interests, and aversions. I can’t stand touching raw meat so “T” does the turkey and hot sides like potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. Her house, so her china, crystal, and linens. I show up with salads, other sides, appetizers, and wine. The desserts come from everywhere and barely fit on the sideboard. Guests also come from everywhere – extended family, college students far from home, friends-of-friends. It’s heavenly.

Watching the Detroit Lions has always been an important part of our Thanksgiving, since we and our friends have Michigan roots. But this year, we will not watch the Lions together. This year, my family is headed to Detroit.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2023 will be all about FOOTBALL.  The world’s cares are many, and one way we cope is by worrying a ton about something that is completely meaningless in the larger scheme. It feels good to assign such high importance to something with very low stakes.  We are willing to risk strokes and aneurisms, all for the possibility of experiencing the thrill of victory live and in-person. Here’s how it will go:

Thanksgiving holiday schedule

THURSDAY

8:00 a.m.	Reveille (this doesn’t happen without military precision)
8:30 a.m.	Donuts and Cider, picked up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (nothing is more “Pure Michigan” than visiting a cider mill on its last day of the season for one last fix)
12:30 p.m.	Kick-off, Lions vs. Packers at Ford Field
12:30p.m. – 4:00 p.m.	HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
5:00 p.m.	Obscene amounts of food and drink with Michigan family, not one morsel of which I had to buy or prepare. I’ll gratefully do the dishes.
11:00 p.m.	Sweet dreams (hopefully) of victory

FRIDAY

All Day

Recovery Day

SATURDAY

Ungodly early:	Reveille again. Dress in 10 layers, which will still not be enough
9:30 a.m.	Begin tailgating. Despite being too nervous to eat, we will somehow bravely soldier on and eat too much
12:14 p.m.	Kick-off, Michigan vs. Ohio State in the Big House
12:14 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.	HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
2:00 p.m. – 3:30 p.m.	HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE PLUS SEVERE NAUSEA PLUS FROZEN EXTREMITIES
4:00 p.m. – Nov. 30, 2024	Either indescribable euphoria and annoying gloating, or gut-wrenching despair, depending on game outcome

I’m hoping, praying for the “indescribable euphoria.” Beating Ohio State is one of life’s great joys. Nothing makes my heart sing like watching them trudge towards the locker rooms with heads hung low as the game clock ticks down to 0:00. So beautiful.

May all your teams win (Unless you’re a Buckeye fan. May you suffer the cruel sting of defeat for years to come). May all your cups runneth over and may your bellies ache with laughter and pie. This year, I’m ever so thankful for friends, family, and football.

Happy Thanksgiving and Go Blue!